A Past Love Of A Broken Girl

Hello, I know I haven't used this in a while. But I have been working on a lot of stuff. But hopefully I'll start posting more again. I will try, school is getting pretty busy and work and life....all that stuff. But I hope you like my little piece I wrote. 

A Past Love

In reality, I knew it wasn’t a good idea from the start. I knew if I continued down this road, it'll only lead to pain. Yet I allowed myself to do it anyway. Why? Because part of me hoped – wished – that it'll end up alright. But yet, I ended up here. Alone.  

I don't know exactly where it started. But if  I had to pick a a moment, it would be the day he stopped my tears by making me laugh and smile. As a child, I always felt different, set apart. I went through many hardships but I never cried in front of another. Yet there I was, in front of boy I wasn't that close to. And he made me smile, bringing me out of my sorrows and filled with joy.  From then on, my feelings kept on growing.  

I would always be around him, be attentive, and watchful of him. He always was on my mind. My love only grew with each passing moment. Each little brush of fingers, meaningful glances across the room, teasing words and caring comments. By the time I realised I loved him, it was too late. he belonged to someone else.  

Maybe I was too late. Maybe I just never stood a chance. I wouldn't know, or at least I didn't know. Maybe if I told him sooner. Not during a night of intoxication. Maybe if I had not waited so long. Maybe it would have been different, if I made a move. Instead of waiting, waiting for a sign to tell me he loved me too.   

Sometimes it gets too much. Sometimes it's ok to be afraid. Afraid to love. Afraid to get hurt. Afraid to move on. But love makes a person stronger. But love also destroys. And that's what my love did. It destroyed. It made me feel so low, yet so high. It made me feel like the happiest person. It made me see the light within the darkness. Yet at the same time, I could never have it. My love was a sweet drug, that I was addicted to. I couldn't get enough. But letting go of it so fast was a crushing feeling. Quitting the compelling feeling of just being near him, was devastating. I felt lost, I didn't know who I was anymore.  

As a person grows, they come to accept their past. They forget, or at least move on from the things they held onto so desperately. One may never heal from a broken heart. It may leave a scar which will never go away. But a broken heart can always be put together again. It may be fragile and delicate. But it will one day be whole again and be able to love again. That is the only hope, for someone like myself has. Faith that one day, we'll be able to move on, fix our broken hearts and give it to someone else. Someone who would take it and  watch over it with such tenderness and carefulness, that you wont have to worry about it being broken, once again. 



AUTHORS NOTE
 This piece is not really a store, to me its's more like a monologue. It not really super linked to my life but it does inspire me a little to accept that it's ok to be sad at times. It's ok to cry over things. That's what I was trying to show in this piece. It's pretty different from my last pieces but I like it.